Time For Daycare?

Well, it pangs me to even type this but as of recently I’ve been thinking more and more that it might be time to put Vincent in a daycare for at least 1 day a week.  Someone else first made the suggestion, which I wasn’t too happy about because it wasn’t made directly to me and the reasoning was that it would help Vincent develop social skills.  Well… he has plenty of social skills!  He’s doing just fine and advancing really well as far as I’m concerned.  Just today he said his first “K” word. Knee.  He’s learning his colors already thanks to his love for crayons, and as far as his “social” skills.. I think he’s right on target.  We go to a certain park once a week or so and there are always other kids and parents there.  He doesn’t go up and hit other children or run away.. he goes up, checks them out and then usually runs off on his own to play.  And if he see’s a baby he’s right there checking them out.  He loves babies.

So why then would I consider putting him in a daycare?…. I need a break. I hate to say that, but I do.  He is SO active that I can’t really keep up with him.  If I’m in the kitchen cleaning up, he’s in the livingroom tearing up.  If I’m putting away laundry, he’s pulling it out of the drawers and pretending to shake the wrinkles out.  I know he just wants to help but sometimes it can be overwhelming.  It’s not like 8 months ago when I could just stick him in his little seat and he could play for a while.  He’s always on the go and rarely sits still.

I haven’t gotten a lot done in the past few months and it’s really starting to depress me. I have so many ideas for my site.. I need to organize my desk area, I need to clean off our porch, weed the flower beds, etc etc.  Since we don’t have a fenced in yard and live extremely close to the road I can’t really contain him outside either, so because of that our yard looks horrible. It’s always a race to cut the grass on the weekend when my husband is home.

Aaah.. after typing this all out I feel even worse. I love my little boy soooo much. I love spending time with him and playing w/ him. I love how he’ll just stop and give me kisses out of the blue.. how can I not feel guilty for thinking about sending him away?

My biggest reason for getting some time to myself though is that I want to be able to exercise.  It’s fun to go for a walk with Vincent each night but I really need to do some aerobic exercise and try to gain back my health.  10 yrs from now when he’s older I don’t want him to be embarassed of me because I’m so out of shape I can’t do anything, or maybe even dead because I don’t take care of myself.  My grandma started having strokes at an early age and well it appears that I’ve inherited quite a few genes from her. I don’t want those things happening to me. I can’t stand the thought of my son not having a mother.

I guess I have a lot to think about.