A Letter To My Son On His First Birthday

Dear Vincent,

For 9 long months it was just you and I.  I held my belly each night wondering who was inside there, what you looked like  and how I would feel when I finally got to meet you.  Would I be a good mother? Would we love each other instantly?  Then 1 year ago today my life changed forever.  After a pain that only a mother can know you arrived into this world at 10lbs.  Already such a big boy.    It was a hard road but you made your way out healthy and strong. You hadn’t wanted to come out yet but it was time.  The Dr. laid you on my belly and I just stared at you.  The whole process of birth was so amazing I was still in shock that I had produced a human life. You grew inside of me, you were part of your father and I and I had waited so long for this moment to meet you.  I was scared at first but that feeling quickly went away when I looked into your eyes and realized that we had been blessed with an amazing gift.  A gift I would never take for granted and a gift that I would love every day of my life like it was the last.

When we brought you home I didn’t want to be away from you for even a moment.  You were such a good baby, rarely getting upset. I couldn’t believe it.  We put you to bed each night in your bassinette right next to our bed so that we could be with you always.  Eventually the time came for you to move to your own room and I have to admit that for many many months I did not sleep, even though you did.  I would lay awake at night in your room listening to you breath. Feeling your heartbeat and waiting for the time you would wake so that I could see you again and get to know you even better.  And each day when that time arrived you and I would both wake with a smile on our face.  I would look into your eyes each morning with the realization that I seemed to have known you all my life and I can’t explain that feeling to anyone but it is one that has filled me with more hope and love than I have ever known.

I have watched you grow so fast. I couldn’t wait until the day I heard you call me mama. You did that and so much more over this past year. I still remember the night that you and I were up all alone and you gave me kisses and tried to tell me you loved me. After you fell asleep I cried with joy all night long. The love you filled my heart with and continue to fill my heart with each day is something that can never be spoiled and cannot compare to any other love on this earth.

Each day you are here I cherish you more and more and I want you to know Dear boy that you have changed my life forever.  I will always try to be the best person I can be for you. I will always protect you and I will always love you more than anything in this world.

Your father and I came from different lands on opposite ends of the earth in a chance meeting that in the end has created you and I can’t tell you how much more I believe in fate now.  You were meant to be little boy and you are very very special to us both.  Happy Birthday sweet one and I hope each day of the next year will be just as wonderful as this first year has been for us all.

I love you with all of my heart,

Mama